Boutique Comedy
by isabellaa.e.countoure
Summary: A Bella/Alice story. What happens when a piercer spots a boutique worker from across the street? Add a pierced obsessed guy that doesn't understand NO. Femslash There will be mature audience material.
1. Chapter 1

Boutique Comedy

A/N I'm just extremely bored and haven't written anything in ages.

Disclaimer Meyer owns it allllll. Why does she have to be so flipping lucky?

BTW there is not beta for this story. So any mistakes are my fault. Sorry.

I stared. I pleaded, well I pleaded with my eyes. I called out to her in every available aspect. Suddenly somebody bumped by me jarring me out of my own little world of Izz. I had been staring at the beautiful pixie that was bouncing around her little shop as one of the tattooists walked past me to get some forms that apparently she had been asking for for the past five minutes. "Sorry" I mumbled to Rosie as she had back to her booth. "Whatever, space cadet, come back to planet Earth and check your time your 4 o'clock should be in any moment." I glanced up at clock yep 4 o'clock is …here.

Jacob Black, oh god, what an annoyance to humanity! All he does is keep coming up with more piercing ideas that are not even plausible and then just settles on making me touch him as much as possible in the past two months that I had been working here at 'The Breaking of Time 'shop he has gotten 5 piercings from me. And I may have possibly been a bit sharper with my needle than I would have been with someone else. He has gotten his industrial and tragus done on his left ear and the other tragus on the right as well as snake bites and his septum. Finally he got bold and decided on a scrotum piercings. The scrotum piercing is when he tried to make his move on me. Not exactly a good idea to come into a completely uninterested person when they have a needle that close to the private areas.

"Well, since you're down there would you mind becoming better aquainted with my little friend I mean I don't mind having the after date before the date I promise I'll take you out once you get off … work." Well since I was down there I chose at that particular moment to stab I mean pierce his balls. The tears were of pleasure I'm sure. .

"Hey Izzy Bizzy, I need another piercing done if you can squeeze me in." "That's why you made an appointment Jakey Jakey. Here's the forms, you know the drill. Bring them back up when you're done." As he walked to the comfy little mismatch sofas I snuck a glance across the street searching for my pixie. "What the hell? Where'd she go?" I mumbled as she was know where near the windows. "Who?" Rosalie asked as she bring the clipboard back from her station. "No one." "Uh-huh, so who is she?" "I do not know who you are talking about." "You know I will get you to talk to me and tell me. I have my ways, it's called …Mikes Hard Lemonade!" She walked away laughing. Not just laughing, like mwah evil laughing. Jacob walked back up handing me the clip board. I scanned over the paper work to see what I was piercing today. Oh… wow that a little different. Yay for him, shitty for me I have to give him a Prince Albert.

/

40 minutes later I'm leaving the piercing booth scarred for life. "Well Jake see you, unfortunately, next time." He slowly gives me a forced smile and limps out of the shop after handing me the money for it. I go back to my station and give it wipe down and take out the trash before heading home. I'm walking out the shop right at the same time that my pixie was locking up the boutique that sat across the street from my shop. It was called Midnight Sun, I had never seen her there before about two weeks ago. About two weeks ago I became obsessed with a certain pixie like woman that worked afternoons at a certain boutique. She was small built but with defining curves, short black hair that was softly spiked making her elfish features look even more beautiful than if she had long hair. I jogged over to the edge of the street right as a line of cars streamed through. I waited impatiently on the cars to get through,finally they got moved and…..

A/N: Yes, a cliffy. I couldn't possibly waited. I am tired as all hell. Yet excited to see how well this does as a femslash story. I am not anticipating this to be a super long story but it should be more than a few chapters. Not making any promises.I can't wait on the response message me or whatever. I really want to know if anyone likes this story. Thanks. *IAEC*


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A/N once again that lucky woman that owns twilight is … not me. That sucks. Meyer is that lucky chick. (^_^)

Previously: I jogged over to the edge of the street right as a line of cars streamed through. I waited impatiently on the cars to get through, finally they got moved and…..

She was nowhere to be found. Great that's just lovely I finally try to get up the courage to talk to her and she disappears. I start the awesome walk that is the daily 10 block trip to and from my small apartment that is mine. I'm so lucky.

Well, I guess I am compared to where I could be or rather have been. Not even two years ago I was with my mother in phoenix, Arizona. The weather wasn't the bad part it was the whole step-dad part. At first he was pretty decent, but after he lost his job at this factory, he started smoking marijuana and drinking all the time. Then if he couldn't get enough weed or not enough alcohol he started beating on mom and then on me. I told mom to leave him but he threatened to kill us. That's when I started to fight back. The last time we got into a fight I hit him hard enough he just didn't get up. I left that afternoon after having a screaming match with my mom. I got a hold of her once I got up here to Portland. She just said that she told him I ran away and that I wasn't welcome there anymore. About 6 months after I called, I had the police show up at my apartment telling me my mother was raped and killed by my step-dad and that if I wanted to I could help testify against him. I did, he has a life sentence in prison because of what he did.

As I trudged up 4 flights of stairs to my apartment that has never seen a flipping elevator, I am trying to decide if I should just call in delivery or make something. I start digging through the cabinets that were painted light green. That would be my roommates doing she's totally a wall about shit like that. I listen closely, nope nothing which means I am cooking for me. She must be at Emmett's ever since I've known Rose she hasn't been into guys like him. She isn't your stereotypical tall skinny beautiful blonde aside from being an awesome tattoo artist she is magic under the hood of any vehicle. Though her passion is trucks, any year any style, she just loves trucks. I think secretly she just wants to shock guys when she shows them she knows how to do more than look helplessly down at the motor and wish for help. She has saved my old beat to hell red (Well it was red at some point) 1957 Chevy truck. Speaking of which you are probably wondering why walk when I have a truck. It kind of sort of needs a new fuel pump something about a water pump to. She just told me a lot of money and I said savings she said more. So it is currently taking up space at the parking lot of the garage Rose works at.

I start flipping through the phonebook. Oh, I haven't had pizza yet. I called and ordered myself a royal buffet courtesy of my tips from Jacob. About a half hour after I ordered I was starving waiting to ambush the unsuspecting delivery person and a knock comes on the door. I yank the door open only it's not the pizza person it is my pixie from the boutique.

"Hi, I just moved in next door and was wondering if you had a phone book I could use to order out with. I am absolutely starving. I worked all day fixing everything at my store." she said all of this super-fast. I was just basically trying not to drool before remembering she asked for something. "Huh?" was my fabulous response. "Phonebook, order out, got a phonebook?" she said dragging looking at me as if I was hard of hearing. "Sorry you talked a little fast for my brain to catch up with me I also have been at work all day. I actually just ordered take out if you like vegetarian pizza I'm willing to share but only if you plead will I allow you some breadsticks." I say in an obviously trying to joke manner. But maybe it just came out creepy. "So, I have to plead for breadsticks? Hum mm, how good are these so called breadsticks? If they aren't worth it I won't be on bended knee to ask for any." She said returning my joking manner. Yay she didn't get a stalker vibe! "Well, they're damn good so you probably will have to get down for them." I said moving aside for her to come into my apartment.

"I'm Izz by the way." I introduced myself anxious to learn her name. "Alice thanks for sharing your food with me. I just got moved in when one of my workers called me and said my store manager just up and quit. So lucky I was already moving over here so I can keep a closer eye on my store. Some of my inventory has been coming up missing. I think that's why I no longer have a store manager. But enough about me what about you? What do you do for right now?" she said this all on super-fast talk. I assume that must be the norm for her. "I actually work right across the street from you at The Breaking of Time." "Oh at that um tattoo parlor? What do you do there, reception?" "Actually I get that a lot because I don't have a lot of visible tattoos of piercings. I have them but just not where you can see them. I'm a piercer. I do all kinds of piercings, any in fact. Like regular ear piercings or more intimate piercings. That is actually why they hired me the other girl was a bit squeamish about doing more intimate piercings like scrotum or Prince Albert's." "Oh, you said no visible tattoos or piercings? Where are they then?" "Most of my piercings are on my ears but I still have my tongue hips and other places done and I have 5 tattoos. Before my mom got with my step-dad she actually stayed with my dad for 8 years in that time I got dragged through a lot of tattoo parlors, my dad is pretty well tattooed up but he is a sheriff the people of my home town really trust him and he is really respected. But it was still hard for him to get a job as a sheriff so him and my mom both drilled it into me that I have to make sure I can cover all my extra me, as they would put it. Otherwise people judge you for all the wrong reason." I said in little matter fact tone. She smiled and looked up at me. "I'm sorry, my reaction must have been the same as everyone else's then. I'm not normally a stereotype person."

So how will their date end only the story knows because I don't know? Well let me know what you think I had one review when I woke up this morning and it made my day a little brighter. Yes I am that much of a dork. Review Please Please.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

A/N Meyer owns it. She fucking owns!

Previously: "I'm sorry; my reaction must have been the same as everyone else's then. I'm not normally a stereotype person." She said looking down at her lap. "It's fine." I said tugging on the end of my shirt. The doorbell went off not even a minute later. I yelled "Coming" to the delivery person and looking around for my wallet there it was right under Alice's right ass. "Um, Alice could you possibly moves your se- I - butt?" "What? Oh shit sorry." She said as she noticed the black lace wallet stuck under her. I reach over and grab, stifling the temptation to do more, my wallet. I walked over to the door cursing at myself for not being the kind of assertive person. I open the door, Yay! It's my favorite delivery driver, no wonder it got here so fast.

"Hello" "Hey, my favorite delivery driver. You almost beat your record you know. How do you get by all the cops in town considering you go through town running at least double the speed limit?" "I don't have a clue what you're talking about I do the speed limit. Besides my boss is in a shitty mood tonight the faster I get all my stuff done the faster he will be able to go home and the faster I will be able to go home." "True what do I owe you. " 15.59, here's your breadsticks, pizza, two liter and your other breadsticks. Oh and there is a cold paste in there. I expect you to try it." "Yeah, yeah here you go." I said handing her a twenty. "No change. Now get." "What you got a hot date? I'm hurt I thought I was the only one for you." "Get." She playfully stomped down the stairs staring dejectedly down. I shut the door.

Alice was giving me a once over. "What was all that about?" "Oh she has been delivering for a while. I try to at least order once a week. She cracks me up." She smiled at me. "So where are the table and the utensils for eating the fine food?" "Oh I'll get them, you go ahead and have a seat." I said as I walked into the kitchen looking for everything. As I grabbed the plates she walked beside me and grabbed them off the counter and laid them out on the table. She did the same with the silverware and the pops. It had that old feel of a practiced thing we had always done in the past. As we settled down for dinner we started questioning each other on our likes and dislikes, what we were doing here, if we liked the area. As we moved to the living room I started flipping through Netflix asking her what movies she liked, what her favorites were, and what movies she hated with a fiery passion, like me. We settled in on a movie but mostly talked through it. As we were making a selection for our second Rose came in. "Oh, I didn't realize you would still be awake? And who is this? Is that your mystery girl from the shop across from us?" "Shut up Rose and go to bed." She smiled gamine like and skipped to her room, knowing that she made the ripple she was aiming at. Alice or Lee as I was starting to call her gave me a questioning look before glancing up at the clock. With a quick second glare she jumped up "Oh My God, I didn't realize it was that late. My boutique opens at 7:30 a.m. I got to get over and get some sleep. Maybe we could have lunch tomorrow?" "Yeah, sure, anything you want. " She smiled warmly at me and hopped over to her apartment door, slipping out of my sight and into my dreams.

I woke up the next morning as my usual zombie mode and flopped into the kitchen. Walked over to the fridge grabbed a pop and plopped back down. My morning went by like normal I pierced a few teenage Barbie dolls belly buttons. I checked out an infected industrial and sat around doing nothing, but every five minutes or so I would glance up hoping to see my friendly neighbor. Right around 3:30 I walked out of the shop waiting around. I checked her windows but couldn't see anything. I finally start walking when I heard someone call out my name "Izz. Wait."

A/N btw the reason her boutique opens so early is I figure for alice any time is a fashion crisis.


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